my Lucky Fortune Cookie X3

A poem to memory

now i'm not a poet,
so dont expect anything good or anything :s
just consider this as a random rant 

just a random blue day where i just wanna write.
so this is my so-called poem,
about my memories of being bullied (boo hoo)
yeah i know i'm an emo girl 

so here goes:-


"A poem to memory"

On these days
Just some normal days

Where the sun is lit bright
and every bird is in flight

I sit in my space, dazed, a few gasping air i took,
When memory of past lands on my back with his hooks

You crept up my vines, as rage began to mold
Clawing your talons deep within my flesh and bone
Struggle as i may, squeezing off every ounce of fight this body may bear
But slam me down you did, as your claws dug deeper within my spine you hold
A creature born of my mind, both ugly and fine - i let out a groan
You shackled me, and kidnaped me to your lair

Raped me you did
 tearing apart every emotion from which you feed
Dragged me back over rocks of years and over oceans of teared dates
When finally, we reached hell's gate
Threw me in you did, and down to hell i went, i let
myself drown in a sea i bled.

And so, Tumbling down helpless to the deep cold sea i did
And amazing, on this normal day, i relive again the days i thought i had rid

Anak ampang

Sounds that pounds on me like how waves smashes the rocks
Leaving a hollowed soul, cold and dark.

Anak ampang

Lyrics of a song that sings to a tattoo etched across my esteem, my very worth
an unerasable mark.

A razor, stuck to the side of a desk, just a normal desk
leaves no scab on my thigh today
but within my belly lives the wound, deep and fresh
 vomiting  shivers and hate - a toast of remembrance in every May.


I hear the sounds of hair being cut behind my back
You came that day memory, to teach me to never trust and show anyone my lack
As i witness my black hair drooped down the floor, just a normal floor
i smiled a mask which only god knows the rage brewing inside this core.


Do you have to continue doing this memory? coming without a sound
torturing me in a world beneath my eyelids
A world of pain where a child is lost and only wants to be found
was i that bad? to receive such hate, for that many rage i have lit?

But you see memory, even if you come and visit sometimes
Even if a am held down, cry and whine

I won't stay there for too long - I realize i gotta take it slow
You see, i've already made peace with my history loud and clear
Learned to let go and to never let them determined my now
Your not my god so no longer will i be subjected to this fear

So memory, 
this is a poem for you
Yes it is just for you

And the next time you decided to pay them bullies a visit,
A replay of all the mean things they did,
Pass on this to them for me memory, a poem from me just to you;

"May you regret - may you learn - to never give others shit,
For playing God is never a good deed,
because for every one you give, God pays back in two"





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